Forget the Honey, Bring the Laughter

At my old job, I was considered the technology guru in my department, because I was the only one who knew how to turn the laptops on.  I wish that I was kidding.  I had administrator privileges for my laptop, and everyone else's, because there was always someone 'breaking' something.  I was the 'fixer' for my department.  I would say that it was unbelievable what people would do to their computers in the span of their workday, but we've all read about the dude using his CD drive for a coffee mug holder.   I ended up doing a lot of hand holding.  One of my coworkers hit the 'esc' key so often that it popped right off, and I had to explain to her that that particular trick was not going to get anyone out of any meeting, ever, and we had a good cry.  I found myself sending out snippy emails to my coworkers about  "LAPTOPS ARE NOT ETCH-A-SKETCHES!"  Since I did not really want to be a technology department person, it got old, fast. 

The technology department where I work now is a vast network of randomly seen people who work tirelessly from their underground lair to make sure that our networks are up and running 24/7.  Hundreds of people that I never see are taking care of my computer needs, and it is wonderful.  Everything computer related has run like a dream for me, for the most part.  And when it doesn't, I simply...open a work order.  My work orders are written to make these techs smile.   I want to stand out. I mean, all they probably hear all day is complaining!  Nobody likes to deal with that.

So I go for the funny. For example: 

Java keeps saying that it needs to update, but it does not update. It is a sad tale.  Not "Han Solo dies" sad, but more "Jar Jar Binks exists" sad.  Is there something I can do for this? 

Or this one:  
My internet connection in my office keeps fading in and out.  I have tried restarting, using a cord, and begging.  Nothing has worked.  Most of the work I do is in an online format, and I have lost a report today.  It took me three tries to send this request! Needless to say, I am very frustrated, and have eaten all of the chocolate I keep in my office for emergencies. I am about to sacrifice a live chicken. Please help!

I could complain loudly.  I could call the technology department every name in the book and demand that they rush over and take care of me.  But as they say, you catch more flies with funny than whining.   I love those men and women who take care of my technology and keep the Skynet plans out of circulation. After I hit send, I step out of my office for some coffee or to find a teacher.  Someone comes and fixes everything, like those mysterious elves who like to make shoes.   

I wish I could find those guys.