Not My Proudest Parenting Moment

Zane and I were walking to our car in the school parking lot, as were several other parents who had picked up their children. I asked Zane about his day, just like I do every school day. My boy responded with the usual nonresponse that most kids produce on command.

And then...

"Oh!  I remembered my first bad word!" My boy said, loud and proud.  A few heads turned our way. Usually I would tell Zane to lower his voice, but I was in "tired mom" mode.  It's exhausting some days, to work 8 hours at a job and then work another shift as a parent.  It's completely understandable that I made a tactical error on this particular day. At least that is my story. 

"Really?" I said.  "What word was that?"  As soon as the words left my mouth I wanted to call them back. I winced, then looked around at the other parents in the parking lot.  To my surprise, nobody else was staring disapprovingly in our direction.  Whew! 

"'Sexy' was my first bad word!" Zane was out of the gate, his mouth running.  I just had time to register the thought that "sexy" wasn't a horrible awful word and then--

 "The NEXT bad word I learned was sh**!"  

Now those other parents were listening, and glaring at me as they tried to hurry their own children along to their own vehicles.  I smiled and waved at them.  I was winging it.

"Lower your voice, Zane!" I hissed, reaching over to grab at his hand. I frantically tried to get Zane's attention, calling his name, but he was going to finish his thought come heck or high water.  It was actually the longest time I'd ever heard him speak on a single topic that wasn't Nerf-related.  I might have been proud, if under different circumstances. Now I feared I would be getting a stern phone call from the principal about allowing my child to corrupt small children in the school parking lot.  I braced myself for the next word, certain it would be the most egregious.  

"...THEN I learned the word FOCK..."

Wait--what?  Did he just mispronouce the BIG BAD F WORD?   My child did NOT actually drop an F bomb in the school parking lot? I was not a terrible mom after all!   I couldn't help it--I giggled with relief.  I then made an effort to cover up my laugh with a cough or two.  As we got into the car, I reminded Zane that those words were not nice words, and that he should not ever say them at school.

Or in church.

Or in front of his grandparents.

Or in polite company.

Well, maybe when discussing politics.