Destructo Dog

I love my cats, living and deceased.  They're tempermental, aloof, and mysterious, but so am I.  We sort of cancel each other out, in the grand scheme of our household routine.  But my son wanted a dog, and so we adopted one from a local animal shelter.

Isn't she adorable?  Of course, that was last year, and precious little Maisy is no longer tiny.  Maisy is sixty pounds of love and still growing. She's happy, she's friendly, and she is the perfect companion to my son.  They will chase each other through the house, laughing and barking, until one or the other falls asleep. 

Maisy does have a few quirks, however.  She can't leave the trash can alone, for example.  One by one, bits and pieces of the trash end up spread out all over the living room, which is quite a spectacle when I walk in the door after a long day.  Maisy also likes to chase cats. She's not sure what to do when she catches them--it's all about the chasing with her.  The cats, understandably, are less than happy about the disruption to their strict sleeping routine.  Those personality quirks can be endured.
But Maisy has an alter ego. 

Destructo Dog.

This dog will chew up or eat just about anything.  Paper, plastic, rocks, stuffed animals, books--you name it, and Maisy has destroyed it.  She chewed a hole in our couch.  She chewed up an ice tray, and ate half of one of those freezer paks.  Empty water bottles?  Chewed to shreds.  She's eaten crayons, and markers, and chewed up toys.  Remember that Rainbow Sock Monkey from the Pier 1 commercials?  He can no longer feel his legs, because they are gone.  Poor Rainbow Sock Monkey!  Maisy chews off the eyes and then pulls out the stuffing, spreading it all around.   We've scolded Zane for leaving his toys on the floor, but Maisy is very capable of getting what she wants off of the bed, the table, and the couch.  This week we came home to find that Maisy had destroyed...a shin guard.  A Lionel Messi("The greatest soccer player on planet Earth", they tell me) shin guard.  This was a calamity, because Zane wears shin guards to soccer practice, and now he only had one.  

We yell.  We know yelling doesn't work, but it's more of a venting thing, anyway.  Maisy doesn't even look upset.  To her it's all fun and games, and she sees our yelling and gesticulating as part of the play.  We could crate her, but she'd be in the crate for 8 or more hours a day, and then in the crate all night.  That's no life for a dog.  We could make her an outside dog while we are gone, but there are bad people around who a)steal dogs from yards to be fodder for fighting dogs; b)steal dogs to sell to labs for medical research; c)steal dogs so they can collect a reward for their return. I would hate to have to tell my son that Maisy was stolen from our yard. 

I am hoping that this is a phase, and that Maisy will outgrow this destructive habit.  We all like her much better when she is not destroying everything in sight.   That's my son's job. 


4.) Your pet's least likable character trait.