A Good Swift Kick

I generally try not to pay attention to some things that happen out there in the Big World. It's a matter of survival; the brain goes on overload when there is too much information coming in. So I don't watch the news, and I limit my online reading to a few sites. Some items get past all that, and they are starting to annoy me. I need to vent about it, to get it out of my system. Here are a few people/things who need a time out, or perhaps a good old fashioned smack upside the head.  Maybe a swift kick in the butt would reboot them?


1. People claiming First Amendment right to justify their behavior.  There is a councilwoman here in San Antonio who was secretly recorded saying some pretty hateful things. The person who made the recording released it to the press, because that's what always happens.  It was a big deal--San Antonio prides itself on the diversity of its population, and hate is never welcome anywhere. What does this elected official do? She wraps herself in the First Amendment. 'I have the right to my opinion', she tells the world, as if that completely justifies everything.  Uh, nobody said that you couldn't have your opinion, lady.  But you're not a private citizen, you're an elected official, and there are consequences for badmouthing your constituents. Cloaking yourself in the Constitution doesn't change that. 

2. Cosmo' s sexual overcompensation complex  Every time I see Cosmopolitan magazine these days, the headline screams something about NEW and IMPROVED sex positions that will blow your mind, or blow his mind, whatever. Somebody's getting blown, at any rate.  I know that Cosmo girls are supposed to be fun and frivolous, but really?  It's as if the editors think that their magazine is worthless unless a "fun" and "informational" sex manual is inserted between the pages. I enjoy myself as much as the next married woman with a hyperactive five year old, but I am not hanging from the ceiling fan while wearing a tutu, and that's final.  Sex isn't a competition, and there's no ribbon for trying every position in the Kama Sutra.  Get a clue, Cosmo! Real women don't spend their lives trying to contort themselves into the form of a swan for the purpose of seducing their partners.

3. Reality shows. These shows are mostly train wrecks. They feature people too stupid to understand that they are jokes to the rest of us. And how many real housewives do they show? Those Orange County chicas are not exactly scrubbing toilets or gossiping about the school board president; they don't qualify as housewives.  Some of those women are using their celebrity to sell things, making people suckers twice over.  That thin woman isn't skinny because she drinks "skinny" cocktails ; she is skinny because that is her job. The only acceptable reality shows are those featuring animals in the tradition of Steve Irwin and Mutual of Omaha' s Wild Kingdom.  There's not a darn thing glamorous about the Turtle Man knee deep in pond muck or getting sprayed by a skunk, but it's more real than Jersey Shore. 

4. Congress.  The culprits here are those of the lower house. These are the guys who seem to feel that they have a mandate to stage daily tantrums. They whine about the state of things, but they offer no solutions. They will block a bill or a nomination, no matter how reasonable, just because a Democrat proposed it.  It's ridiculous.  Tea Party idiots seem to think that they are doing a good job if they symbolically vote to overturn Obamacare 40 times instead of actually working together and compromising, as the Founding Fathers intended.  It's not a good job to obstruct the functioning of the government. It's actually a poor job for people who are supposed to be fiscally conservative; it costs a lot of money to run the Capitol when Congress is in session, in the neighborhood of a million bucks to pay the workers, the secretaries, the guards, etc. 

5. Texting/phoning and driving  Do we still need to do this?  They've done studies--if you're texting and driving, it's as bad as drinking and driving.  If you're talking on the phone, even if it's hands free, that is as bad as being intoxicated while driving. Those are facts.  There are laws regarding texting and driving, especially in a school zone. That's a fact.  So why is this still an issue?  Why do I still narrowly avoid collisions with women yakking on their cell phones at 70 miles an hour?  It's insane.  GET OFF THE PHONE.  Put it away in your purse, and don't look at it until the car is stopped and the engine is turned off.

6. Calling Crap News. I don't need to see Prince William discussing diapers on every news channel. He is a new parent, I get it.  He's tired, I get it.  Move on.  Leave the guy alone for five minutes so he can nap, would ya?  And unless Halle Berry has a movie that she is promoting, it's not news. Katy Perry's latest hair color is not news.  Nor is Taylor Swift's latest beau, unless she immediately breaks up with him and writes a song about it.  It's not news if Dr. Oz trips over his own shoes and stumbles.  It's news if the President gets a new dog, but only for ONE news cycle, not the entire month.  The 24/7 news channels have spawn pseudonews, things that they throw out there to fill in some blank spaces.  It needs to stop.



5.) List 6 people or things that deserve to take a time out!