optional prompt: expectations
It is unfortunate, but many people go into marriages with great expectations. For women, it is often all about the romance, the candlelight dinners, the handholding, and the perfect man who knows just what she needs at any given moment. For men, it is all about the comfort of a perfect someone who takes care of them, both in the bedroom and out.
We hear about the fairy tale from birth, the handsome prince come to take us away, the ugly woman who turns out to be bewitched and is really a beautiful princess. We all want the romance that comes with those unrealistic expectations. It's why we got into a relationship in the first place, isn't it? And when the reality doesn't match the expectations, we become disillusioned, dispirited, dejected. For some of us, the loss of the illusion is a dealbreaker. Those are the people who jump from relationship to relationship, looking for...what?
Don't get me wrong, these expectations are not good or bad, right or wrong. They are just unrealistic, especially in romance. Certainly, these expectations do not represent real love, and we find that out soon enough after we say "I do." Yet these unrealistic expectations persist. Why?
I love my husband, and I could not see myself ever married to anyone else, but there are times when I have to face that reality and let go of those unrealistic expectations. So my husband says he will do things and then he gets distracted by a shiny object and forgets. He probably wishes that I was still skinny. He is who he is, and I love that, plain and simple. I need to focus on that reality more.
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STOP.
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I wrote you a big long post and then it wouldn't publish.
ReplyDeleteI'll end with my last line.
Sometimes marriage seems like a fancy trap.
There was a lot more in the middle.
I hate it when that happens!!! Sometimes the Google monster is just plain mean.
DeleteI keep hearing stuff about romance, marriage, and all that. I'm starting to wonder if perhaps there's a important message I need to gather in all this, which can only mean that God is preparing me for something and wants me to be equipped, because I have no desire right now for anything much to do with guys. This really is a fantastic stream, TMW!
ReplyDeleteThat is just fine if you want to focus on yourself a bit before you make a commitment. There's no rush.
DeleteFunny. The second go around, marriage has a whole new meaning. Perhaps it is because we both learned from our firsts, or maybe because we both know where we are in our lives and WHO we are.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is hard. Really hard. But when it is right, it is the easiest hard thing you'll ever do.
Preach it, sister! :-)
DeleteI'll have to stick with Krazy's comment (two above) there and say...hmm, yes, I have no desire right now for anything to do with guys! But still! I'm blessed by watching my parents marriage and seeing them always loving each other, expectations met or failed or what. Great stream (as always!) and thanks for linking up!!
ReplyDeleteYou have great role models in your parents, so hold out for what they have. You can't go wrong!
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