Monday, September 22, 2014

Microfiction: Last Words

Her fingers a vise, the old woman pulled me close. 

She whispered anger and pain, her tale a violently crushed spirit with a harrowing confession.  With her last breath, my soul disintegrated.

I can no longer look my father in the eye.





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13 comments:

  1. KirSeptember 22, 2014 at 10:15 AM

    Oh, you always bring the emotion. I could feel my stomach drop with that last line.
    Well done, my friend.

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  2. Katy BSeptember 24, 2014 at 9:06 AM

    I felt a bomb drop on that one. Love it!

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  3. AnonymousSeptember 24, 2014 at 2:31 PM

    What Kir said!!

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  4. kymmSeptember 24, 2014 at 6:07 PM

    Wow. Disintegrating soul. Going for broke, Tina!

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  5. Shailaja VSeptember 24, 2014 at 10:37 PM

    How dreadful to have that image of someone you admire be dashed to pieces. Yet, how effortlessly you have conveyed that in 42 words! Beautiful!

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  6. MarcySeptember 25, 2014 at 10:17 AM

    What a stark and powerful scene!

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  7. Jen BrunettSeptember 25, 2014 at 1:25 PM

    Maddening. I love the emotion you created!

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  8. AnonymousSeptember 25, 2014 at 2:55 PM

    I'm left wondering if it was fair of her to tell. She has shattered a life and left. Such powerful emotions you evoke with this.

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  9. AnonymousSeptember 25, 2014 at 6:38 PM

    Oooh I liked it! It was like watching the ending to as great movie. Great job.

    ReplyDelete
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