Monday, September 1, 2014

Doubt

A soft breeze floated past the curtains,soothing the heat of fevered kisses.

You slept.

A small creature crept over the open window sill, whispering grave calamities as it skittered into a dark corner.

I listened quietly, to that familiar voice.

Again.



  

12 comments:

  1. So two things came in through the window! You did a good job of capturing that new relationship middle of the night loneliness.

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  2. Oh, no. Not again! It's the skittering that gets to me!
    Love this, Tina!

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  3. I hate when my partner sleeps through the whispering of grave calamities! ;)

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  4. Oh, doubt is such a nasty little creature. Thoughtful take on the prompt.

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  5. Doubt could definitely be seen as a creature in its own right, no?

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  6. Love your take on the prompt. Doubt certainly is a persistent creature. Nice one!

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  7. Great, great. The story, yes. The layers, yes. But especially how you use the rhythm of your lines for maximum impact.

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  8. Oh, that calamitous creature, doubt. It seems it is small enough to creep over the window sill even with the window closed. I love the personification here and the skittering of the language when you're talking about your visitor, compared with the short, to-the-point language of your partner sleeping.

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  9. I would have been up all night knowing that thing was lurking around!

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  10. Wonderful how you've embodied doubt - or rather it's not. I preferred it when I couldn't see it. Great take.

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  11. Fantastic metaphor and use of the title, Tina.

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