No Feeties, Please

We found these in Target. In the men's section, not the boys.  The more I think about it, the more I wonder.  What exactly is the target market for this particular outfit?  Men with unfulfilled superhero fantasies?  Women with unfulfilled superhero fantasies about their husbands?  Large children with unfulfilled superhero fantasies about their parents? 

Are these jammies?  They totally look like jammies.  Except that there's no feet on them.

I know that people seem to love footie pajamas.  For some, the warmth of wearing jammies with feet brings to mind childhood winters spent curled in front of the television after a day spent outside in the snow.  Those people would not be me.

I like my feet bare, thank you.

It's not that my feet are particularly gorgeous.  My ankles are covered in petichia, a vestige of my blood pressure. I have two toes longer than my big toe, which I'm told means that I'm bossy.  I've got a hammer toe that I've named MC, because it amuses me.  I'm not in line for America's Top Foot Model, by any stretch.  My feet are well worn, because they are on duty most of the day, and for several trip during the night.  But I like them bare, just the same. I am more comfortable that way.

When I was a kid, I was barefoot most of the summer, just like most kids at the time. Playing in the backyard, playing on the playground, walking to the local pool, all in my bare feet. It didn't matter how hot the asphalt was--my feet seemed immune to the searing pain that others felt.   In the winter time, I was usually barefoot inside the house. I would have been barefoot outside the house, but my mother had a fit, and you know what that means.  Shoes and socks.  The second I got home, however, the offending items were pulled off, because my toes were sweaty.  Nobody likes sweaty toes!

These days, I wear shoes that are open toed, even in the middle of winter.  If you ever see me wearing socks, it's because my feet are finally a color of blue that I have to address.  But the socks are on only as long as it takes for my feet to warm up, and then they are off.  I'm a hit at staff meetings for that very reason.  On the coldest nights, I will be completely covered...except for my feet. If my feet are hot, I can't sleep, it is just too uncomfortable.

I can't be the only weirdo out there with hot feet.  Or can I?  Feet are not usually topics one can bring up randomly in conversation, so I don't really know. All I know is that my feet are bare and I like it that way.