THUMP!!!
The shoe hit the wall right next to Joshua's head as he entered the room, but he ducked anyway, because shoes usually came in pairs. Especially when it came to Candy Lou and her "fast balls". Sure enough, the second petal pink platform came hurtling toward him.
"You bastard!" his beloved wife screamed, searching for something else to throw at him. Joshua put his hands up, a gesture of surrender learned from years of experience.
"Now, Candy Lou," he began. "Hold on a se--"
A lamp came soaring toward him, and he fled behind the couch.
"I heard the whole thing, you evil, horrible man!" wailed Candy Lou. "How could you say such a horrible thing about your wife?"
Joshua was genuinely confused. All he had been doing was talking to their new neighbor in the front yard.
"You told that man that I had a nice chassis!" she blubbered.. "I heard you! You said 'She has a nice chassis, but it's a little low to the ground.' Don't you deny it! My chassis is NOT fat, Joshua!"
Candy Lou threw herself onto their bed, burying her head underneath a pillow as she was wracked with sobs. Joshua stared at her a moment, watching the pillow bob rhythmically with her sobbing. His laughter began almost silently, bursting up from somewhere within, releasing him from a self-imposed prison. Soon he was whooping with loud, raucous laughter, and Candy couldn't help but hear him. She paused in her performance to look at him in shock.
"Candy Lou!" he breathlessly told her, when he could speak. "Oh my sweet Lord! A chassis is part of a car! A car. We were talking about CARS, not you!" He dissolved again in laughter, while Candy Lou stared, bemused.
I loved the first line, it set the scene so well, especially him ducking twice and a woman named Candy Lou should totally be wearing petal pink platforms!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I think Candy Lou is based on one of my relations...
DeleteBrilliant! Shoes in pairs, then the lamp, and her name is Candy Lou! Love this!
ReplyDeleteVery fun ... you have quite a character there with Candy Lou. She sounds like she is a live wire!
ReplyDeleteThank you! She may or may not get into a bar fight in a later post...
DeleteFunny and fun!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteAgreeing with all the above, and my heart aching in sympathy for that poor man! Really, really vivid characters, and you drew me in right away. I will say that I didn't think the ending was as strong as the rest of the piece (which was so terrific!). I have trouble believing that a woman who was willing to throw heels and lamps is going to just stand there while her husband laughs. I think you'd have something much uglier come of this...not sure how to imply that in a short time, but that was my concrit so I thought I'd put it out there.
ReplyDeleteYou are right about the end. I ran out of words, though. Thank you for reading!
DeleteGiggle. Living in Detroit, I'm more familiar with the chassis than Candy Lou ;) This is a fun little piece, and I think Candy Lou would be a breath of fresh air to write.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I hope to write more about her soon!
Delete