Mamakat: Father's Day Loot.

Mamakat's Pretty Much World Famous Prompt:  3.) List 10 things you’d would love to give your husband or Dad for Father’s Day.  I combined a couple:


1.  A freshly mown lawn.  If we could afford it, I would gift my husband a lawn services to take care of this chore. My husband hates to mow the lawn as much as I hate to do dishes.  And yet the grass must be mowed, particularly when tall grass can hide...snakes.  So Larry is out there, a black cloud of mosquitoes flowing around him, pushing the lawn mower through tall grass, hypervigilantly watching for snakes.  He knows that if he sees a snake, I am to be summoned; I am the snake whisperer in the house.  Larry is the cockroach stomper.  The division of labor was necessary to avoid conflict.

2.  A whirlpool tub  We  have a whirlpool bathtub, but the motor broke, so now it is just a bathtub.  Before it broke, Larry was in there at least once a week.  He'd have a book, and his drink, sitting next to the tub on a little stool.  He would be in there until he was all pruney, but he loved it, and it seemed to relax him.  I have plans to get the motor fixed so my husband can once again relax, but I don't know when that will be.  Perhaps when I finish washing dishes...

3.  A brisket  We are carnivores in this family, and we like our brisket.  We just can't afford to have it very often.  A nice, slow cooked brisket will serve us several meals, both lunch and dinner.  Larry likes to roll his brisket into a tortilla, and that does sound kind of naughty, but it is not.  It is, however, quite yummy.

4.  A recliner  A recliner is a must have for any good father, so that he can lounge around in front of the television at the end of the day.  Perhaps Larry would fall asleep in that recliner, or at least doze off.  Then his son can jump off the sofa and land on his father's abdomen, to remind Larry of what is really important:  moving the couch further away from the recliner. 

5.  A family trip to Disney in Florida.  But not just Disney.  We would have to shell out the cash to see all the other attractions around there too, including Legoland.  It would be totally worth it to see Zane's face when he sees his characters walking about.  Larry loves going on roller coasters and the thrill rides, and Zane and I would watch. 

6.  A new laptop  Larry's laptop has seen better days.  It's survived a great many drops, and it's been to Alaska and back.  But it is six years old, and not going to be around much longer.  So Larry will search far and wide to find a sensible laptop that will do all the things that he wants it to do.  Except what he REALLY wants is this:

Source: alienware.com via Tina on Pinterest

7/8.  Tickets/backstage passes to see Iron Maiden/Rush  My husband is a hardcore Iron Maiden fan, and by 'hardcore' I mean that he has everything short of a tattoo of these guys.  He knows all of their albums in all of their incarnations, and will recite them on command.  I sometimes secretly swear that if I hear "Up the Irons!" one more time, someone's head will get a 'reboot'.  
 

Source: cduniverse.com via Tina on Pinterest

I will never understand it, but my husband's behavior at an Iron Maiden concert has been described as very similar to the behavior of fans at the first Beatles concert in the United States. I can't picture my husband screaming his head off until he fainted, so maybe that didn't happen.  Maybe.  When Larry is not going on and on about Iron Maiden, he goes on and on about Rush and how great they are, but with much less screaming and gesticulating. 

9.  Guitar lessons from Eddie Van Halen  Larry was teaching himself how to play the guitar, but he's been slacking lately.  He needs to get back in the groove, and who better to inspire excessive drinking and awesome guitar playing than the master?  Since the tour is on hiatus, those guys aren't busy, and maybe Eddie could use some extra money. 

10.  A trip to New Zealand to hang out with Peter Jackson  My husband is a huge fan of Tolkien.  He has become a huge fan of Peter Jackson as a result.  If he could have been there on the Pellinor Fields, killing orcs,  Larry would have gladly gone down under the hoof of an ellyphat.  If he were able to be on the set of The Hobbitt, Larry would completely lose his mind.  He would be as excited as a little child at Christmas, every set a page come to life.  He would talk Peter Jackson's ear off until a restraining order sent him back home.  But he would have a blast.