Random about Regularity

I feel sorry for Jamie Lee Curtis.  The way I see it, she got suckered into those Activia commercials.  They can't possibly have given her full disclosure.  I can just imagine how the interview went**: 

"Hello Ms. Curtis.  You are a very famous celebrity.  We would really like for you to talk about how great this yogurt is."

"Okay."  

"We would also like for you to tell the audience that this yogurt is very healthy."

"Okay."

"Great!  And we would like for you to explain that this yogurt makes you poop."

"??? Uh..."

"It makes you poop regularly, and this is very important for one's overall well being. Really. They've done studies."

"..."

"And we'd really like for random people to send you their videos talking about their bowel movements for the rest of your natural born life."

"..."

"Plus, we will pay you a small van full of cash."

"Okay."

**I have no idea if this conversation actually took place, because I made the entire thing up.  I myself have eaten Activia yogurt on more than one occasion, and find it very delicious.  Please don't sue me.


If someone told me that people would be stopping me on the street to tell me about their fight with constipation, that they would be sending me videos discussing their particular bathroom habits, and I wasn't a proctologist...well, I am not sure what I would do.  But it might require a change of outfit.

I am not a n00b to this whole advertising thing. I completely understand that there are people out there who drive their cars through hoops of fire if a celebrity told them to do so.  I am up on all the  health stuff.  I am perfectly aware that there are health benefits to eating yogurt, including a stronger immune system.  That doesn't mean that I want to be snacking on Cheez-its while watching television and hear a celebrity talking about regularity.   I have strong feelings about having to listen to a litany of bowel complaints thinly disguised as 'tummy' troubles.  There might be a monetary figure that would compensate me for having to listen to such discussions at the dinner table, but I have no idea what that would be.  More zeroes than I could safely contemplate without losing my mind, probably. 

Also, why isn't a man doing these regularity commercials?  Is it because women are less crude than men?  Women aren't even allowed to admit in public that they pass gas, fer cryin' out loud.  I have seen a ton of media where the man enters the bathroom with a newspaper under one arm, meanwhile, or exits waving an arm frantically.  Instead of those Ford truck commercials, Denis Leary should be working for Activia.  He would be awesome. 

Of course, I would be laughing so hard that I wouldn't need the yogurt.