There are days when you just, cannot open your mouth at all. Your words on these days are a fast raging river of toxic sludge that must be dammed behind your clenched teeth, at all cost; for to open your angry mouth would release a veritable flood of spewing vile that would dissolve the tongue of a lesser being.
Your husband. Your child. Your boss. Your coworkers. Your friends. These individuals have done, or are doing, something that irritates you, annoys you, or makes you flat out angry. But because of where you are(church) or who is around you(mother-in-law), you can't say the mean words. You can't say those words there. So you swallow them. Then you swallow some more. Soon you have an aching belly full of angry words.
Angry words don't digest well, so they must come back up, somehow. Then you start to spit the angry words back out, in other places. For example, a person I know seems to get sick ONLY when she knows that we want her to babysit our son. And it's not just an "I'm sick" we hear. No, we hear, in graphic technicolor, all about her colon, what she ate that made her sick, how many bowel movements she's had, how many people she has told about the bowel movements, and their particular observations regarding said movements.
After about twelve or so hours of swallowing the words I want to say to this person(that I can't say, because she's a fragile little flower who can't handle it), I have to let some of the angry words out, somewhere. I can't say all the things I want to say to this person--she is a 'fragile' flower with the acting up colon, remember?
So who do I attack with my angry words? Mostly myself, because I know that I can take it. Sometimes my husband. Occasionally my son, and I immediately feel so guilty about it that I completely reverse any punishments I've doled out. I'd give him my car if only he wouldn't give me that big eyed look that says "hurt feelings!"
I hate that look. Even if I haven't done anything, I still want to buy the kid a pony.
Do you have days filled with angry words that you can't say? What do you do?
Serious breathing, Lamaze style, and bringing forth a sense of peace...on purpose...helps me:) Good LUck
ReplyDeleteFor me, I pray. If I don't give it to God, then I am going to eat someone's lunch. That doesn't mean that I always hold my tongue, but if I am quick to pray and slow to speak...then more than likely God will carry it for me. I also think that blogging is a great way to talk about it and release it...maybe what you just did will help a little.
ReplyDeleteI pretty much do the same as you, hold it in till I can calm down or bust a gut later.
ReplyDeleteUsually, I endup taking it out on my Students. These are the graduate kind, so they are older and can take it. And they may not have deserved it right then, but they either did in the past, or will in the future. :)
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I talk about building a primal scream room with padded walls. Some dayy.
Umm, I bottle it up. Which is bad, I know. Because then I'll explode some random day at some random guy at some random place. This happened a few months ago at the gas station. I yelled at the gas station attendant at how stupid Utah drivers were.
ReplyDeleteI know. Shame on me.
yes..I do...but...my problem is..I SAY THEM. Yes siree I do.
ReplyDelete