April Fool

April is such a lovely month, Talia thought. Just look at all the wildflowers all along the side of the road. So colorful.

Talia smiled absentmindedly to herself as she drove her car down the highway. She was on a hunt for bargains. It was her favorite hobby, to find a piece of clothing or some other prize for the lowest price possible. There was no greater joy for her than to find treasures.

A car swerved into her lane, and Talia slammed on her brakes, then laid on the horn. The car sped off.

"Stupid sonofabitch," she muttered. "I'd like to beat his head in with a baseball bat for cutting me off. I hope he dies for scaring me!" Talia took a deep breath and remembered why she was smiling.

The radio began broadcasting the latest talk show on WGZS, the 24 hour Jesus channel, her favorite Christian station. She listened as the radio announcer began to read about deliverance from the wicked. Psalm 94, Talia thought, and so very appropriate. Lots of wicked out there nowadays. Lots of repenting was needed to right the world again, in her opinion.

"...Understand, you stupid people! You fools, when will you be wise?" The radio intoned.

"Amen!" Talia responded.

Her cell phone rang just as she pulled into a parking spot at the mall. It was her dearest friend Celia.

"Why Celia, how nice to hear from you!" Talia smiled as Celia began tearfully describing some awful thing that her boss, Mr. Dupree, had done just that morning. He wrote Celia up for something, Talia didn't really catch that part because Celia started crying all over again. Mr. Dupree sounded like the worse boss in the world, if Celia were to be believed.

"Celia, you need to get yourself together and stand up to that man!" The sound of more crying filtered through the earpiece of the phone. Talia waited for a pause while she thought longingly about all the wonderful shoes that were 50% off this morning only. 70% off with her store coupon! She sighed.

"Calm down and go have your lunch. After lunch you go see that Mr. Dupree and let him know that he can't treat you like that!" Another pause. "That's it, take a deep breath. You can do it!"

"Okay, honey, I've got to go now. You take care. I'll be praying for you!" Talia pushed the 'end call' button and sat for a moment. The radio announcer was finishing his sermon regarding wicked gossip and how it poisons the soul. Talia nodded at the radio, but she smiled. Then she picked up her cell phone and dialed her son-in-law. He was at work, but she knew he would take her call.

"Mr. Dupree's office," the secretary sounded bored. As soon as Talia identified herself, she was on the line with her daughter's husband. Talia told her son-in-law every single thing that Celia had just told her, leaving out Talia's advice. Mr. Dupree was quite angry when Talia finished. She couldn't wait to hear what happened next, and wished that she had a front row seat when Celia got what she got. Ought to teach her some better manners, like respecting her superiors.

The radio announcer was speaking of the sins of the wicked and Talia turned off the ignition. She put her cell phone in her purse, gathered her reusable shopping bags, locked the car and began walking toward the store. She began humming "How Great Thou Art" as she thought of all the great buys she would find today. Maybe some lovely shoes that she could wear for the month of April.


NOTE: This week's Red Dress Club prompt is to think of a person(fictional or non) who drives you crazy and then write from their perspective. The person I chose does not actually exist.