The Perfect Mother-Son Picture

There is a picture of my son and I. The two of us are relaxed, smiling at each other, oblivious of the camera. My son's hair is not going in fourteen different directions, and neither is he. My makeup has not slid off my face and my hair has not fallen flatter than Charlie Sheen's television career. We are having fun just being together, my son and I. All is well. The moment is perfect.

This photo does not exist. Well, it exists, but only in my head. I have exactly two decent pictures of me with Zane, and they are both when he couldn't walk. Since he's been ambulatory, Zane is anti-sitting still. This does not make for good photography. He also has adopted some sort of fake pose where he says "CHEESE!!!" and moves at the same time. It's frustating. I generally have to follow him around with the camera like I am one of those "in the wild" photographers.

We go to one of those photo places, seeking relief. We throw toys, we make noise, we yell, and still the final picture looks like crap, my son a blurry image too fast for the camera. So I carry a camera around, and have it on sports mode, which is supposed to be for people trying to take pictures of things at a football game. Which means that I don't get photographed at all, not even a lousy blur spot. Normally that would be a blessing, except that then there's no mother son photographs. It is very sad for me. I just would like to have one good photograph that I can cherish, put on my desk at work, and brag about. But I suppose that it is not to be.

This sucks. I guess I could give the camera to my husband and tell him he's getting a promotion to lead photographer. Then he could take a few pictures of my son and his mother. It kind of hurts my feelings that Larry has never even offered to do that, if I think about it. But I'll get over it.

Edit: This is a bit disjointed due to my very tired brain. I apologize.