Mama Needs a Hot Cup of Coffee

My son likes to wake us up in the morning, mainly before the crack of dawn. He is not yet the age where he can get up and amuse himself by playing in his room or some other benign activity. It is a well known fact that I am not a morning person, but for my child I will do anything, even attempt conversation, at this ungodly hour. So Zane and I will stumble down the stairs in the wee hours before sane people get up, and I will get him his juice and his breakfast ready.

"Son, do you want pancakes or biscuits?" I ask groggily. At least, that's what I think I ask. I could be just mumbling for all I know. It's the crack of dawn, fer crying out loud.

"Bi-kit," Zane says, as evilly cheerful as anyone can be. I make him two biscuits.

"Son, do you want some juice?" I ask, then get him apple juice, because that is all he ever wants to drink. Zane is all set, in front of the television, eating and drinking his breakfast and watching an animated show. I can hear the coffeemaker finishing up. It calls to me, beckoning me like the Sirens. I stumble back into the kitchen, find a cup and pour myself a steaming cup of awakeness. I bring the cup to my lips.

"MOMMY!"

"Yes, Zane?" I say, as I put the coffee cup reluctantly down.

"I pee-pee," meaning that he has to go to the potty. I haven't even gotten around to changing him from his night time diaper, but he's potty training, and I want to reinforce him. Five minutes or so later, my wonderful cup of coffee is cold. I put the cup in the microwave and heat it up. I bring the cup to my lips for a drink.

"MOMMY!"

"What it it, Zane?" I whimper.

And so it goes. Even at dinner. If it's not the potty, it's that he wants more food, or he doesn't want to watch the particular show or something else that has to be taken care of right then. All timed with precision to occur right as I am about to drink, or eat, something hot. It's like my son is on a mission. I recall the scene from the movie A Christmas Story, where the narrator says that his mother hasn't had a hot meal in eight years.

I suppose I should just start drinking iced coffee.