Amazon.com and beer barrels

I love Amazon.com.  It's my favorite place to 'window shop', and I visit the website often.  My favorite section has always been the book section, but I've been expanding my visits to see toys, electronics, clothes, makeup, and even vitamins.  I feel like Amazon was created just for people like me.  People who hate to shop. 

I am not ashamed to admit that I hate shopping.  I can never find anything quickly, I hate crowds and I hate waiting in line.  I especially hate shopping for clothes because that involves looking for things in  my size, trying them on, getting discouraged at seeing my fat ass in the mirror(at that point, NOTHING looks good on an ass that big, I think) and walking out with nothing.  Stacy and Clinton would smack me into next Sunday, but I tend to just grab stuff that doesn't fit well and just rush to the cashier so I can leave. 

I know that my ass probably isn't nearly as big as I think it is.  Actually it is not my ass that bothers me, it's my waistline.  Since Zane came along I have acquired dad's family shape, which is round.  If you look at old pictures of the women on that side of my family tree, they all seem to be beer-barrel shaped.  Which is fine if you're a beer barrel, but not so great if you're a person.  Besides the health risks for round women, there's the problem that nothing fits because most clothing is made for someone with a waist.   I refuse to buy anything with an elastic waist, so I have resorted to wearing shapers.  I am seriously considering a girdle.  Before that, however, I'm going to join my officemates in a weight loss contest.  The weigh-in is tomorrow.  I will try not to cringe when I get on the scale, but then I will get busy trying to lose the beer barrel look.